In Reconstructing Edward, I wrote about this process with something physical and I hope that my Edward understands that although he did not fall to pieces, he was pretty broken just walking around this world.
I have done my fair share of tearing things and people to pieces. I'm not sure I've ever gotten out the gold and epoxy to repair anything I have broken. It is in my nature to leave the wreckage and move on. I think it is because I'm grasping on to my own broken pieces and trying not to lose any more of myself.
Last night, I needed the cracks and defects of me to be stuck together. I found the gold lining and the glue right on my sofa. It was unexpected and truly made me shine from within.
Today, I'm trying to not be so broken, but that's not really how broken works. The word vouchsafe is defined as giving freely and taking gladly. Perhaps today, I will just try to keep the word vouchsafe in my thoughts and take what is offered to me and give what I can - even if it is broken pieces of me.