The sound of rain concerns me that there is a leak in the plumbing. It is most certainly NOT a soothing sound for me.
But just beyond where I lay my head on a pillow under the comfort of the thickest and biggest blanket I have lay a puppy snoring. A giant, head bigger than mine, still growing into her bear-claw sized paws, puppy.
I woke of course throughout the night and checked on the baby to find her curled up in a ball or stretched out like a queen, breathing heavy and snoring.
And I know this is bizarre. It's a puppy and she's just sleeping. But she had a rough start in life and then had a wonderful family care for her in ways I could never expect, and now her visit seems to have ended - she's back with me.
I want her to be happy. (the dog-just to be clear) I want her to feel safe. I want her to be cared for. I want her to snore when she sleeps knowing there is nothing keeping her at the edge of her dreams.
This morning, she ate a very big bowl of food, lapped some water and then laid her head on my lap while I watched the news and drank coffee. She purred. Or growled. Or whatever guttural noise she made from all the way deep inside letting me know that she was happy without words.
The friend who took the dog for a bit was amazing. (We have shared custody at this point I think). She said she feels shitty about giving her back. I felt shitty about feeling unable to care for the pup when I was starting to rebuild my life. Cried in fact and was worried nightly that the dog would be bad or that I was awful with all roads pointing back to a friendship lost.
But upon reflection, that is truly not the case. I needed a respite from working through the storm. And now, this incredible friend needs a little bit of time and space. I can't express the gratitude I feel for this whole situation. It's more than a beer and a story. It's more than a laugh and a hug....
Not to mention, I have this wonderful little being who just snuggles up and purrs telling me its all good because she is cared for. And in turn, I get to draw in puppy love. <3